Random Thoughts, XIV

This isn’t a random thought. This is something has been on my mind all summer.

I don’t understand this generation. There are very few people who know how to communicate like regular human beings. Since social media is basically your average person’s life now, it’s extremely hard to connect with people if you don’t value social media as much as them. As I moved to Atlanta, I started to discover that they are a couple of people who I found myself seemingly cool with, who I could potentially hangout with & start a new social life. These people who I knew that live here were either old friends from last decade or cordial colleagues from my university. No strangers at all. Plus, I met some people down the way here. 

See, what bothers me the most is when a situation goes wrong & I end up with all the blame. People try to make it seem like I’m some extreme introvert or antisocial or just a straight up asshole. I never had a problem with making friends, especially in my childhood. If anything, I was way more of an asshole or antisocial back then. The difference between me & other people, when an individual texts me about hanging out or that they’re in the same space as myself, I go out my way out to create some plans so I can hang out with them. This what people do now: they comment all your Instagram pages about how “fresh” you are, they tweet about how they’re proud of your success, & Snapchat you on how they need to hang out wit you. But, when you go out your way to text/call them on hanging out in real life, this is how it usually goes.

Me: yo wassup? What’s going on tonight?

Person: I’m going to this party. What do you have planned?

Me: Idk, im looking for some plans now. What party are you going to?

*no response*

I rather people not reach out to me at all, than to teeter a conversation with me through text & social media. I’m tired of constantly being the person who reaches out to someone to try to make plans & no one reaches out to me to make plans. I never get a response anyways. When I was in middle & high school, me & people who I met usually traded off like this: 

Me: yo wassup? What’s going on tonight?

Person: I’m going to this party. What do you have planned?

Me: Idk, im looking for some plans now. What party are you going to?

Person: Going to this party in East Memphis, want to come?

Then the next weekend, the roles switch. Boom, friendship created. I understand that I may not drink & drive or smoke my life away, but if we’re still labeling people as “lame” & “cool” like it’s high school & we’re in our early to mid 20s, then I’m in the wrong society. Those adjectives are very perceptive. Even if “coolness” isn’t the case, then social media has definitely made communication nonexistent. People would rather tweet or leave Instagram comments than to call you. 

For example: Earlier this year, a dude who I was close with when I was younger tried to play the “cool/lame” card against me. When I first moved here, I constantly reached out to him & tried to make plans. I would never get a response back. Then weeks later, he saw me at a party with some mutual people & he tried to act like we were buddy-buddy or some shit. “Aw man, me & Jarius go way back. I’m talking about riding bikes over each house & trading Pokémon games.” Naw my nigga, you didn’t “remember” when when I was by my lonesome & I tried to reach out to you as an adult. It’s like fuck you at this point because you didn’t want to associate yourself with me until you got a consign from someone else. And that’s fake. Don’t be all in my face when you were just trying to dodge my conversations before. People want you to kiss their ass so bad nowadays because social media has people feeling like they’re celebrities. Now, people don’t want to get to know you or hang with you unless they see how have someone to offer or you have some “clout” on social media. That’s corny man because I know way too many people who have this cool “image” on social media & straight up squares in real life. There is no facade with me. Im the same type of person on the Internet & in real life.

That’s just one case of social bullshit I’ve dealt with in this summer. I’m not going to put it all on here, but I hope that one example gives you an idea. Time flies & I feel like I’m wasting my youth. I still go out & explore the city by myself, but no one wants to feel like they’re alone. And I feel very much that. When I try to tell people about my problems, I never leave the conversation feeling better. People have crazy egos for no reason. Like I said before, I’m always reaching out to people, but they never reach out to me. But when they finally see me in person, they dick-ride so hard. Like, am I living in the Twilight Zone or something? It’s a tough time for me right now because I feel like I have everything, but nothing at all at the same time.

Tough times create tough people.